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Boneca Visitation

Page history last edited by PBworks 17 years, 8 months ago

 

Observations from a Visitation

by Tony Prudori, 16 Jul 06

 

I visited the funeral home where Cpl. Anthony Boneca, killed in combat last Sunday, is lying in state, and I felt like sharing my observations with someone.

 

I entered the funeral home, and went into a room where, on a big screen TV, photos of Tony at various stages of his life were being shown. His father, Anthony Sr., seemed to enjoy seeing photos of young Tony as a small child, both here in Thunder Bay, at camp with his uncle and in Portugal during visits to family there. There were pictures of Tony fishing, enjoying travel to different parts of the world, enjoying time with his girlfriend, and, of course, with his buddies and at work in the military. On the table around the TV were other memerobilia reminding one of Tony's other loves, and the family's grieving - a football, what looked like a golf club, a fishing rod - as well as yellow roses.

 

In the main chapel, where Cpl. Boneca lay in state, the front of the room around the casket was covered in flowers of all sorts and colours. On the left hand side was the Canadian flag on a pole, while a Regimental flag (blue & grey horizontal stripes, with the unit cap badge in the corner) was on a pole on the right hand side. The casket was open, with a Canadian flag embroidered in the cloth lining of the top that was open. In Cpl. Boneca's hands, folded on his stomach, was a rosary, and pinned to the lining near his left arm was a small religious medal, held with a small safety pin. On top of the coffin was a dark blue pillow embroidered with the Regimental cap badge, with his medals resting on top. To the left of the pillow was Tony's glengarry, while to the right was his white ceremonial belt with bayonet and scabbard.

 

Around the funeral home while I was there, an array of mourners could be seen - strong young men with very short hair, looking like they were looking for the right thing to do, not realizing that being there together was, indeed, the right thing to do; the young man who accompanied Cpl. Boneca from Trenton back to Thunder Bay, sitting in an almost khaki shirt and tie, alone, thinking in a pew before joining colleagues in the TV room; friends of the family, many with the hardened look that comes from years of hard work in a foreign land far from home, some speaking English with Portuguese accents, many speaking Portuguese to grieving family; Tony's father, in a dark suit, well shone shoes, acting like the host, saying hello to people who didn't go up to him to offer condolences; Tony's mother, crying and appreciating a Regimental pin I offered her; Tony's girlfriend, alternately sitting in the front pew watching Tony and sitting outside, seemingly seeking a bit of psyhic space in the tidal wave of grief everybody was floating along in.

 

As I left, all I could do is tell people who might need to talk about what they've been through to come down to a social club where a number of Regimental alumni hang out, happy to be together, but also happy to listen if one wants to talk.

 

I wish there was a neat, tidy way to end this, but it still sucks seeing a 21 year old, with a good chunk of life still ahead of him, dead, in a coffin, with friends and family wishing it wasn't so. But life doesn't always offer neat, tidy endings.

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